weakness

i hate weakness. especially when i see it in me. i know what the bible says about God's strength being IN my weaknesses..i get it..i have lived it...i know it's true. But when i AM weak, why do i feel the need to explore it? to just let it prick my heart and make me bleed everywhere, all over everything..not worrying about putting a band-aid on it and hiding it. it's like being completely repulsed by some poor dead animal on the road, yet compelled by some weird curiosity to stare at it for as long as you can when you ride by...

i'm bizarre. comin' to grips with that now:o)