unsettled frustration.

i've been debating whether or not to post this all week. but i still can't shake it, so here i am.
watching the devestation down south. hearing the frantic cries, seeing the utter frustration, hopelessness and despair painted on a sea of faces. we've all seen it. we've all heard it.
it breaks my heart. i'm fighting back the tears now even thinking about it. i know what the fury of mother nature can do, i've lived through it several times. even my worst evacuation experiences pale in comparison to what has occurred this time around.

i've been observing reactions of others from their comforts of home, hiding behind a monitor. i cringe as the racist card is played. i'm apalled when the judgement and wrath of god cards are slammed onto the table. i'm thoroughly pissed off that some of my "brothers and sisters" (not referring to anyone directly here in this community) around the world can be so cruel, so calloused, so hate filled....so unable to feel any compassion or mercy to these people who have lost everything. Everything. yet they won't lift a finger to help. at the most, they'll wear a fake smile, proclaiming jesus loves them and say they'll pray for them.

what good is knowing someone named jesus loves you, or some stranger is praying for you when you're trapped inside of a living hell?

as i said, my heart breaks over this situation....the burden is so strong. not just donating money, or supplies. not just praying. it doesn't seem to be enough. i want to be there at ground zero. i want to be wading through water, trying to help those i can. i want to be at the shelters, helping as an aide, serving a hot meal, handing out supplies that are desperately needed.
if anything, i've become that much more determined to finish my degree.
am i alone? am i crazy for feeling like this?
i don't know. what i do know is i'm very unsettled sitting behind a monitor.